That’s weird, right? But we’re all grown-ups, so maybe we can do this without feeling strange inside. Should we hug first? No?
MMMMMM okay let’s just dive into it. When I run, I wear a sports bra, a tank top, and these amazing running shorts with the underwear built in. Easy. NBD. Grab a hoodie and roll out. But now that I’m on a mission to complete 9 yoga classes (4 done so far), I’ve had serious issues with my wardrobe. The ratio of anxiety about clothing choices in yoga class to anxiety about not falling over and breaking a bone in yoga class is kind of absurd, to be honest. So far I’ve learned:
1) Do not wear cotton anything. I wore a sports bra with a cotton tank and it stuck to me like a wet washcloth. Bad idea.
2) Hot vinyasa (95 degree room) = people wear pants. Bikram (115 degree room) = people wear shorts. I wore pants to my first Bikram class and within minutes my legs were super hot and slippery and I felt like a sweaty, out-of-shape mermaid. (Some of you said, no way, pants 4 lyfe.)
3) There is no hiding your body shape in a Bikram class. While I would rather wear a beekeeper’s suit, I’ve had to just sort of deal with the fact that I’m wearing skintight clothing and bending in unflattering poses. Whatever, dude. I’m just trying not to die here.
As far as underwear goes, I’m looking for guidance. Yoga class is inherently a little nude-y since you sweat like crazy and need to wear as little clothing as possible. Plus everything is form fitting, because if you try to do a handstand in gym shorts or downward dog in a loose fitting top, well… everyone’s going to see all of your body parts.
The options in my mind when it comes to underwear with yoga attire:
a) no underwear
b) regular underwear
c) a thong
Hnnghhh I can’t believe I just typed that on my blog. Okay, I’m over it. Moving on. In my mind, no underwear is kind of bold, right, since you’re bending and sweating and doesn’t spandex get a little glisten-y? IDK. And then regular underwear is like, gah, am I really going to deal with visible underwear lines right now? I can’t. I can’t. No. It’s barbaric. But then a thong during yoga class doesn’t seem incredibly zen, am I right?
So then I was like, oh I’ll just ask someone the next time I’m in class. After thinking about it, there’s no way I can do that without seeming like a sociopath. It’s not like I joined a volleyball league and we’re all HEY GIRL HEY chatty in the middle of a game. I am completely silent in yoga class, save for a lot of wheezing and a little bit of namaste-ing.
Oh we’re all in the tree pose, now is a great time to ask. Hey everyone, doing a quick poll! What kind of panties are y’all wearing right now? :) :) :)
Like, would I go to jail for saying that? I feel like I’d go to jail. So instead I tweeted it.
I have tweeted, I have googled, and it turns out this is an oft-asked but not oft-answered question on the internet. Are there any hardcore yogis out there that can unlock one of the great mysteries of the universe? Or underwear pros? I thought I was one, since I’ve been wearing them for decades now, but apparently I’m just a grown-up in need of some guidance, you guys.